So Many Republican Hypocrites, So Little Time

February 17, 2006 |

Dick Cheney

Welcome back to the BuzzFlash GOP Hypocrite of the Week.

Let's get one thing straight: Dick Cheney is no hunter.

Cheney goes on what are called "canned hunts." That means he drives up to a spot and handlers release pheasants or quail by the score. Cheney could be blind, discharge his shotgun into the air, and scores of birds would fall dead to the ground.

In short, Cheney is a rich man who pretends to be a hunter, but really just might as well have the domesticated birds brought dead to him on a platter. In Pennsylvania awhile back, he killed hundreds of pheasants by just standing around and basically randomly shooting buckshot into the air.

On one of these trips, Nino "the Fixer" Scalia joined him, interestingly enough, just before the Supreme Court was to rule on whether or not Cheney had to disclose information about who was involved in his "energy task force" -- you know, the one that was part of the lead up to the Iraq war and unprecedented oil company profiteering. Scalia did not recuse himself from the SCOTUS decision, despite participating in a duck hunt with Cheney, and voted to keep the information secret.

Let's face it, Cheney is only now taking "responsibility" for seriously shooting a man because Mary Matalin told him if he didn't get on FOX GOP Propaganda news and do it soon, the rumors about the shooting would start to hit the tabloids, which have been very friendly to Cheney and Bush up till now.

Rumors like Dick was drunk when he shot the attorney; rumors that the attorney was within spitting distance of Dick and not 30 yards away; rumors that Cheney waited to reveal he shot a man because he was with a lady he is "fond of," the Bush Administration Ambassador to Switzerland.

The problem with the Cheney/Bush Administration is that long ago the rumors became a lot more credible than the cover stories.

The only thing that saves Cheney and Bush from being outed by the truth is their Republican News Network -- FOX -- Rush "the Pill Popper" Limbaugh, and the rest of the GOP media echo chamber.

Dick Cheney is such a hypocrite, we don't have an award large enough for his accomplishments in this area, so he'll just have to settle for BuzzFlash's humble weekly recognition as a liar and arrogant S.O.B.

Remember our motto at BuzzFlash.com: So many Republican hypocrites, so little time.

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Previous HOTW Awards for Dick Cheney: October 9, 2004, September 11, 2004, July 3, 2004, and February 6, 2004

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