So Many Republican Hypocrites, So Little Time

October 11, 2006 | SEND TO A FRIEND | GET EARLY NOTICE OF THE HOTW

Dennis Hastert

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Welcome back to the BuzzFlash GOP Hypocrite of the Week -- and what a grand, lurid, bungling couple of weeks it has been for the Republican GOP Hypocrisy team.

And what's a team without a leader, in this case the former high school wrestling coach, Dennis Hastert.

You can tell why Bush has a place in his heart for Hastert: here's a guy who knows how to mouth the words "accept responsibility" for the cameras, but uses every finger pointing scam in the world to evade accountability.

Bush and Hastert both know how to murder someone in broad daylight and then -- under pressure -- declare, "I'm officially responsible for it happening, but don't blame me because I would never really shoot someone. Your eyes must be playing tricks on you. I'm a good man -- and good men don't shoot people. Quite frankly, it's all Bill Clinton's fault."

To add insult to hypocrisy, Rove taught Hastert Bush's trick of starting a sham "investigation," which is really a cover-up. Then Hastert -- like Bush so many times before him -- can claim that he wants to get to "the bottom of things."

But, of course, Hastert is what is at the bottom of things, since so many leading House Republicans involved have identified him as the person who didn't do anything significant to stop Foley from sexually stalking male youths on the Internet. In fact, Hastert let Foley stay on as chairman of the house committee in charge of protecting missing and exploited children.

This week Hastert held an impromptu news conference in Aurora, Illinois, in front of a graveyard. It was the only fitting location for a man who long ago put decency, honor and integrity in a coffin and buried it deep within his hollow soul.

Denny Hastert, wipe that gravy off of your tie and step right up, no one could better deserve the BuzzFlash "GOP Hypocrite of the Week" honors this week. Not only did you betray the youth of America, you did it with pride.

Remember our motto: So many Republican hypocrites, so little time.

Catch up with you soon.