So Many Republican Hypocrites, So Little Time

February 2, 2007 | SEND TO A FRIEND | GET EARLY NOTICE OF THE HOTW

George W. Bush

Welcome back to the BuzzFlash GOP Hypocrite of the Week.

Finding a Republican Poobah who is not a hypocrite is as difficult as discovering a woman with a size 2 figure at a Weight Watchers meeting. So we feel sorry that we so often focus on the Bush Administration while leaving other members of the GOP unrecognized, but it’s unavoidable. The Busheviks are just such a fertile source of hypocrisy that you can’t pass them up.

Take this past week when Iraq was continuing to spiral to a new nadir of bloodshed, when the Valerie Plame trial revealed that even Bush was in on the outing of a CIA operative, when it looks like Bush and Cheney are about ready to nuke Iran. Given these nightmarish situations, what does Bush do?

Well, he goes to Wall Street and lectures corporate honchos on how – and we are not making this up – CEO salaries should be linked to performance.

Not a bad idea, George, except that means you owe us the $400,000 we pay you a year for wrecking our nation, taking away our freedoms, bankrupting our treasury, and ramping up ruinous wars. In fact, based on your disastrous performance, we’d say you owe us six years of your annual salary, plus a settlement of about $500 billion for the cost of the war in Iraq.

Uh, BuzzFlash will take its share in hundred dollar bills and a ticket to the Bahamas, where we can deposit it in an offshore account.

"You need to pay attention to the executive compensation packages that you approve," Bush lectured the assembled CEOs with a straight face. "You need to show the world that American businesses are a model of transparency and good corporate governance."

Ah, yes, George W. Bush, what a shining model "of transparency and good corporate governance." Oh my God, if that is not perhaps the ultimate example of hypocrisy, we don't know what is.

Please pass the barf bag. We can't handle it anymore.

Until next week, remember our motto: So many Republican hypocrites, so little time.

Catch up with you soon.