So Many Republican Hypocrites, So Little
Time
July
13, 2007 |
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EARLY NOTICE OF THE HOTW
Bob Allen
Welcome back to the BuzzFlash GOP Hypocrite of the Week.
Oh, yes, it
would have been as easy as slicing bread to pick David Vitter as our
BuzzFlash GOP Hypocrite of the week. Heck, a U.S. senator
who sponsored a Constitutional Amendment asserting the sanctity of
marriage and was a regular customer of prostitutes in at least two
cities is certainly a GOP role model of repressed, perverse sexuality.
In fact, before he was in Congress, Vitter penned an op-ed in the daily
New Orleans paper advocating the impeachment of Bill Clinton because
violations of marriage vows, Vitter argued, were sufficient cause for
being forced from public office. Not to be outdone, Vitter's wife warned at
the time what she would do if she caught her husband committing adultery, "I'm
a lot more like Lorena Bobbit than Hillary -- I'm walking away with
one thing, and it's not alimony, trust me." Either
Vitter's not sleeping at home now or he's locked up the kitchen knives.
But we bypassed Vitter this week, because the mainstream media is so
titillated by another Capitol Hill sex scandal that they've got him "uncovered" already.
Instead, we are bestowing our BuzzFlash GOP Hypocrite of the Week Award
on a more unheralded soul: Florida Republican State Representative
Bob Allen.
According to Florida
media,
Allen was arrested on July 10 "and charged with soliciting an
undercover male officer for sex at a park in Central Florida, according
to police."
The report goes on to note, "Investigators said Allen was acting
suspicious and went in and out of the men's restroom at Veteran's Memorial
Park [in Titusville, Florida], located on East Broad Street. Minutes
later, authorities said, Allen solicited the male officer inside the
restroom, offering to perform oral sex for $20."
Allen is not only accused of being a pervert. He goes down cheap too!
And did we mention that he is married with a daughter? While Allen
cooled his feet in a jail cell, BuzzFlash checked
the bills that he sponsored or co-sponsored in the Sunshine
State legislature this past year, and we discovered a treasure chest
of hypocrisy:
HB 1475 Lewd or Lascivious Exhibition
CS/CS/HB 41 Sexual Offenses
CS/HB 269 Lewdness and Indecent Exposure
CS/HB 531 Internet Predator Awareness
HR 597 Sexual Solicitation and Abuse
CS/HB 449 Criminal Offenses
Larry Flynt, who played a key role in slowing down the Clinton impeachment
by exposing the man nominated to replace Newt Gingrich as Speaker as
a serial sexual adulterer, was the guy who nailed Vitter.
Flynt observed, "Republicans are more fun because they get caught
so easily," Flynt said. "They've been living a repressed
life all their life. Democrats are liberal -- they wear it on their
sleeve. Their sex life is what it is. They don't spend their whole
life trying to cover it up."
Hey Larry, you ought to share your wisdom with Bob Allen, but it might
be a little too late for that.
Until next week, remember our motto: So many Republican hypocrites,
so little time.
Catch up with you
soon.
* * *
This is Bob Allen's first
HOTW Award. Welcome to the Club.
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